Category Archives: Courtship

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

I just read the new updated edition of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. The first thing I want to say is, wow! I wish I had read this book as a teenager. Instead of a book filled with dos and don’ts, as you might suspect, it is mostly a book that speaks directly to matters of the heart. Its primary focus is to help you in your relationship with God; all other relationships are secondary. The book helps single people focus on what’s really important at that critical stage in their lives, and then helps them move on when romance becomes appropriate.

I loved this book! Although I have been married for over a decade, I can still look back and see where applying the truths of this book could have helped me remain pure during those years of being single. I wish I could go back and put God first! The book is still useful to married people, as we explore our relationships with God and others. Although this book wasn’t a tear-jerker, I still found myself in tears two or three times as I considered God’s love toward me over the years, in the midst of some terrible mistakes.

My favorite part of the book was the narration of a dream that Joshua Harris gives us at the opening of chapter eight. You can read it here: The dream is absolutely life-changing! In my opinion, the analogy is too perfect to be anything but God-given.  I summarized it to my husband, and even he was teary-eyed; he’s a Christian, but I had never seen him respond to God’s grace in that way before.

If you want to find out more, you can read Joshua Harris’ blog here. Or you can preview the book here.

Note: In exchange for an honest review, the publisher provided a complimentary copy of this book through Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers.

I know nothing about courtship…

Most of the married couples I know are miserable. Some of them practically hate each other, most of the wives don’t understand submission, and most of the husbands don’t understand leadership. Some of the problems derive from the fact that the couple is unevenly matched, spiritually speaking. I just do not want my son to end up in one of these marriages. What can I do about it? As soon as he “falls in love” with some random girl, all of my advice will seem like nagging. If he marries a girl that his father and I have advised against, we could end up having relationship problems for years (not because I am nagging, because I wouldn’t, but because he remembers our disapproval). The only thing I can think of is to help him keep a level head on his shoulders while searching for an honorable helpmeet. So my answer, I think, is courtship. The only problem is, I know next to nothing about it. I’m assuming that it’s only dating people you would consider for marriage, people with a good reputation and characteristics you find desirable in a life-long mate. I also assume that each date is chaperoned.

How would I go about instilling principles of courtship in my son? I am also responsible for my niece three days a week, and would like to extend this idea to her and her parents as well. I don’t know anyone personally who courted and married as a result. (I don’t think my editor counts because I don’t really know him, and that’s not the kind of conversation I envision having with him.) I used to be acquainted with one family who tried to get their son to court, but it didn’t end well.

I think I have steps one and two worked out, but after that, I’m completely clueless.

Step 1: Stop watching things that portray dating as desirable. Most of these types of movies have many other morality issues as well, so I’m convinced this is the place to begin.

Step 2: Talk about the benefits of courtship, and how important it will be for him to find a good wife.

Anyone with good experiences out there? Any adults who courted or a parent of one? I need help!