Discipling our Children

We need a mature mindset when it comes to disciplining ourselves and the little people we are responsible for (our children). Somehow, we find no problems saying, Yes, you HAVE to eat your vegetables, you HAVE to brush your teeth, you HAVE to share, HAVE to apologize. These things are non-negotiable. We parents realize that we are responsible for our children’s health and attitudes in their youth, with the goal of cultivating life-long responsibility in our kids. Why is it then, that we have such difficulty in helping our children develop habits such as daily Bible-reading, prayer, worship, and thankfulness? What about teaching them to discipline themselves through occasional but regular periods of fasting, even if it’s only for one meal? What about charitable giving? Volunteering? Reaching out to others? Shouldn’t we make these things a regular part of their lives so that they will have some clue as to how to function as real Christians?

What do I mean by real Christians? The word Christian is an old one, and originally it meant “little Christs.” It may have even been a derogatory term when it was used by the citizens of Antioch to label followers of Christ. I’d like to think that Christians earned this term because of their adherence to a lifestyle that mimicked Christ’s. Therefore, I maintain that Christianity should be more than just a belief. More than just an acceptance of the Gospel. True, our works don’t get us into heaven, and the definition of the word “Christian” has changed over time, but our belief and acceptance should be made obvious by the changes that salvation works in us.

You might argue that your children haven’t personally accepted Christ yet, and that’s okay, I get that. But the goal is to direct them to seek out the true God and develop a relationship with Him. There’s nothing wrong with running your household in a way that presupposes their eventual acceptance. Even if your children never accept Him and grow up thinking you’re a crazy fanatic, there’s certainly nothing wrong with teaching them to love people and sincerely seek the truth.

Even for parents who have no qualms with “pushing” their religion onto their kids, many still fail to instill Christian discipline in their offspring. I think one of the main reasons is this: we refuse to discipline ourselves and therefore feel like hypocrites when we require them to read their Bibles, etc. If we demand that our kids return the candy bar they stole, yet we ourselves cheat on our taxes, what does that say about us? How can we pass on traits such as sharing, self-discipline, fasting, etc. if we can’t be bothered with these things in our own lives? Well, I only have one answer for that – seek discipline in your own life and set the example. But being an example isn’t enough; we need to help our kids practice for a lifetime of Christianity.

None of us are perfect, and we’re going to fail – a lot – but that doesn’t excuse us from trying our best. You expect a good effort from your kids on all sorts of things – keeping their rooms clean, obedience, education. Expect the best from yourself while you’re at it.

Anyway, rant over.

Here are a few things I find lacking in Christian society today:

1. Sincerity

2. Discipline

3. Obedience

4. Compassion

I have a few thoughts about each, but I will save them for another post.

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A prompt disguised as volunteering…

Explore ways to volunteer in your area; then choose an opportunity, and spend an afternoon helping out somewhere. Not only does it encourage a helpful attitude, and help you grow into a better citizen, but it may very well spark a story idea or two. How? Well, you’ll be working with new people, many of whom will show up to help for entirely different reasons – community service, involvement in an organization, a former recipient of the service being provided, etc. They all have a story to tell. And if you are lucky enough to meet the people you are helping out, even better! On top of all that, you’ll be dropped into the middle of new scenery, new dynamic relationships, and new ways of thinking. Give it a try – even if no stories are forthcoming, you’ll be glad you did!

A prompt disguised as unstuffing.

Go through your stuff and find some things to give away. Try to get rid of anything you haven’t used for the past year. Even that thing you bought with high hopes, but just never got around to trying out. Perhaps it’s a self-help book, a food dehydrator, or a cute blouse. After dumping your stuff off at the Goodwill, take a moment to write about the item that was hardest to let go of. What becomes of it in its new home? Does it sit on a shelf for the next three years waiting to be sold? Does the purchaser use it right away? Or does it float from owner to owner? Perhaps something happens concerning the item that changes the life of the next owner. Does it change for evil or for good? You decide. Consider writing from the perspective of the item itself.

What is sacrifice?

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Romans 12:1

A living sacrifice. What does that mean exactly? Basically, it means we shouldn’t do everything we want to do. Even if those things are within our means. We should say no to ourselves sometimes. Deny our flesh. I have been reading When the Bottom Drops Out by Robert Bugh. I’ve really been enjoying it, and getting a lot out of it.

He had this to say about sacrifice: “Sacrifice is saying no to something you prefer so you can say yes to God. It’s placing your preferences, what you love, on the altar and telling God, ‘I want to keep this or have this or do this, but You are speaking to me and I am giving it up. Take it; it’s Yours!’…Sacrifice is counterintuitive; it’s winning by losing, gaining by giving, living by dying, doing without now so you can be rewarded later in heaven…Hear me, dear reader: as painful as it is, it’s sacrifice that will keep you from wasting your life, because it’s sacrifice and service that reveal the lordship of Christ in your life.” – pages 101-102

I don’t hate myself. I’m not going to go out of my way to make life difficult on myself. But I do know that I don’t need everything I think I do. God will take care of everything I need, and sacrificing the things I want won’t necessarily make life any harder on me. In fact, sometimes, I think sacrifice makes our lives simpler. It’s going without. It means there will be fewer things in my life to distract me from God.

What about sacrificing my time? Won’t that add things to my life? Won’t my schedule get busier if I try to minister to others when I already have so many things on my plate? Not if you sacrifice something else that eats up your time. Television is the first thing that comes to mind. Nobody needs it. On your deathbed, you won’t regret the hours you didn’t spend watching television.

What about homeschoolers? Homeschoolers are too busy already. So many things to teach, to learn. Let’s not forget the reason many of us are homeschooling in the first place. It’s not so our kids will be smarter. It’s not so they’ll get a better job or function better in society. Are we not preparing our children for a life of service to God? And do they not learn best by example?

Some ideas for sacrifice:

Change the way you eat or drink, what you watch, what you wear, the way you spend time on the internet or the phone.

Change the way you spend your money, your time, your emotions.

Change the way you relate to God, your spouse, parents, children, and others.

When you see a need, fill it. Be sensitive to the urging of the Holy Spirit.

Why does sacrifice mean so much to God?

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

Eve’s Mistake, My Mistake

Back in January, my pastor’s wife loaned me a book by Debi Pearl, titled Created to Be His Help Meet. I have been reading it on and off, and have enjoyed (almost) every word of it! I don’t read much for pleasure any more (too many other things to do!), so last night, I found myself about a third of the way through the book. It was about there that Mrs. Pearl began talking about the differences between Adam and Eve. As I was reading, I had a strange idea.

How many times have I blamed Eve for being so stupid and ruining everything? If it weren’t for her, I sometimes think, we would still be living on a perfect earth. She should have known better! God told Adam point-blank that death was the penalty for disobedience (Genesis 2:16-17). Why didn’t she believe Him?

But as I was reading the story again last night, in the context of thinking about obeying my husband perfectly, a new idea occurred to me. Every single time I rationalize concerning the Word of God, I make the same exact mistake that Eve made. Take, for instance, submission to my husband. Every time I think, “Well, God’s rule doesn’t apply in this situation,” I am allowing Satan to deceive me into questioning God.

The problem is thousands of years old: Eve didn’t respect God’s supreme authority, and it’s even possible that she didn’t trust God to follow through on His promise. She wanted what she wanted so badly, that she allowed Satan to deceive her into rationalizing. She willingly chose to be deceived.

God is God. This fact alone requires our obedience.

First of all, Eve should have been willing to obey God because He is God. Because He is the Creator. Because He makes the rules (or rule, in her case). He doesn’t have to explain Himself. We often don’t tell our children precisely why we ask them not to say certain words or act a certain way. Sometimes, the explanation wouldn’t be good for them, like when I asked my five-year-old not to go around holding hands with and hugging on other boys (he was making some of the older boys in choir uncomfortable). Sometimes, we need them to obey immediately, and we don’t have time to explain. And again, sometimes, we just want them to recognize our authority and to obey us just because our position demands it.  God required Eve’s obedience. He told Adam that the consequences of disobedience were death. I’ve long figured that Eve didn’t really believe that God would follow through on His promise. She certainly didn’t understand the gravity of her situation. She didn’t know about all the sorrow she would bring into the world. But should God have needed to tell her the exact consequences of disobedience before He asked her to obey? No.

Sometimes I think we forget that God created us for His own glory. He wants us to tell Him how wonderful He is. He wants us to tell Him what an awesome job He did when He created everything. And He wants us to obey Him to the letter. Because He is God. We don’t need another reason.

How do God’s rules benefit me?

However, we humans often don’t follow God implicitly unless we can see how it directly benefits us. Don’t ask me why – it shouldn’t make sense, but that’s the way we are. We are sinful. Even before Eve took her first bite, she decided that she would do what she perceived to be good for her, regardless of what her Creator, her Lord, demanded. She was led to believe that perhaps God didn’t have her best interest in mind.

Luckily for us, God never asks us to do anything that isn’t good for us. He is the epitome of goodness and intelligence. He doesn’t make rules for the mere sake of placing restrictions on us, but for our own benefit. If you read through the books of Exodus and Leviticus, you will find that God made a great many rules and placed a great many restrictions on His people, and He didn’t always explain why. My husband and I aren’t Jewish, but when our son was born, we had him circumcised on the eighth day, just as God had commanded the Israelites. Now, we weren’t convicted to do so (at the time, we thought that God’s Law was only for the Jewish nation), but we figured He must have had a legitimate reason for creating a rule about it to begin with. We found out a couple years later that blood clotting is at its peak on the eighth day of life. What I’m trying to illustrate is: we don’t have to understand why God has asked us to do (or not to do) something. We need to just trust that He knows best, and that all of His intentions are good ones. When I fail to obey Him, I fail to trust Him.

Application

The difficulties begin when we start applying His commandments to our own lives. If we were to trust God completely, our lives as we know them would be turned upside down. Even Christians fail to trust God when doing so gets between them and the things they really want to do. The more wrapped up we are in the lifestyles and perceptions of our day, the harder it is to let go of our own desires and understanding, and trust God with everything.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Here are some potentially life-changing applications, should we decide to obey God to the letter:

Be Careful What You Watch on Television

Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

Romans 1:29-32

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8

Submission to Authority

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

Ephesians 6:2

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

Does God tell wives to submit to their husbands, except when the husbands are wrong? Does he tell wives to submit unless the husbands are unsaved? No! In fact, he tells wives that their unsaved husbands can come to salvation through observing their wives’ submission in the fear of God. The only time we should not obey authority is when we are commanded to do something contrary to the Word of God. Period.

Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

Romans 13:1

For me, this verse even means paying taxes on every penny and obeying the speed limits. This may be common sense for a lot of people, but I also know many, many Christians who are more of the “civil disobedience” type.

Gossip

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

I Timothy 5:13

Caring for Others

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

James 1:27

He that hath pity on the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.

Proverbs 19:17

Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

Proverbs 3:27

Resisting Worldliness and Conformity

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

Church Attendance

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

What about Old Testament Laws?

 

(I am updating this section as of 1/10/2017 because my perception of God’s Law has changed drastically in the last couple of years. I have to smile now, when I see that I wrote the phrase “Old Testament Laws.” It has come to my attention that there is only one Law given by God. The New Testament refers to many of the individual laws, but it is not a new law. I am not updating this post in an effort to hide the fact that I have changed my mind, but merely because I do not want to spread false doctrine. For a better picture of what I believe now, please see The Law Is Not an Example of Planned Obsolescence.)

Even though our salvation is not based on obedience to the Law, I maintain that all of them were instituted for our own good, and following them certainly won’t hurt us. Besides, once you get to know the Lord, you will want to please Him as much as possible by obeying His commands. In the following verse, God practically dares us to trust Him with our finances.

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

Malachi 3:10

Tithing is good for the Kingdom. It supports those who have devoted their entire lives to reaching others for Christ. It is good for us, too. By tithing, we prove our trust in God, which, when God blesses us in return, helps to increase our faith.

Keeping the Sabbath is also good for us.

And he said unto them, The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

Mark 2:27

Have we never stopped to consider that it is good for us, emotionally, spiritually, and physically to actually rest from working once a week?

Rationalization Is Our Warning Signal

I would venture to say that anytime we find ourselves rationalizing, we should stop in our tracks and do the opposite of what it is that we are wanting to do. Rationalization is the signal to stop and ask ourselves if we are trusting God, and to try to figure out what our motivations really are. If we have to rationalize, we already know what we should be doing, but we don’t want to do it. We are trying to find a way around it without hurting our consciences. We set ourselves up as God, and think: In this situation, I can see what’s best for me. For some reason, God’s rules only apply to our situations when we want them to. Any other time, we can find ways around them. That’s not respect at all! How would you feel if your teenagers treated you that way? My friends used to tell me, “It’s easier to apologize than to ask permission.” But if you know ahead of time that you are going to be apologizing later, then you already know it’s wrong. It’s a sin to dishonor your parents, husband, or God by doing anything that you suspect will garner their disapproval.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Do you believe that? Do you believe it enough to trust God to the point of obeying Him in all situations? That your situation isn’t the exception to the rule? Or maybe you think that God didn’t see this coming. Maybe it appears that things can’t work out by doing it His way; that it will only work out if you do what you think is best. Since when is your wisdom greater than God’s? Will you be brave enough to present these arguments before God when He asks why you disobeyed? I know the answer.

I’m not trying to be mean, but I am trying to promote a “No-Excuses Christianity.” Let’s get real, folks.

Can you think of any more areas of life in which we can apply this concept? I’m sure there are many, many more, and I would love to hear your ideas.

How to make room in your budget for charitable donations

How can you make room in your budget – especially in this economy?

Remember that the people we could be helping not only go without luxury, they go without most of what we would consider necessities. We need to reevaluate luxury vs. necessity in our own lives.

Here is something that may help you with the reevalutaion process: Begin by preparing your mind and body. Start right now. Don’t eat dinner today. Don’t wait to plan your fast for a time when it will be convenient; the people in Japan didn’t have advance notice.

Fast occasionally. Spend your extra time doing something to make money to donate. Host an event where you raise money based on how many hours you decide to fast. Decide the amount of hours you are going to fast ahead of time. This will prove less dangerous for you (just in case you get going “on a roll”), and better for your sponsors if they know upfront how much they will be giving (no nasty surprises). Sponsoring a fast is a good option for people whose diets don’t give them the options of fasting themselves.

Give up one luxury a month every month. Donate the resulting extra time and/or money to charity. Here are a few suggestions: don’t eat out for a month. Instead, set aside $10 every time you experience the temptation to eat out. Give up your favorite sugary cereal and eat oatmeal for a month. Put your Netflix account on hold for a month. I’m sure you can think of more, based on your own favorite foods, hobbies and expenses.

Prove God. Pay your tithes. He dares us to prove Him to see if He will be faithful in providing for us. Do you trust Him to keep His Word? Use the blessings that He pours on you to bless others.

“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” (Malachi 3:10)

If anyone else has any ideas, feel free to comment!

Catalyst

I love to see people offering their services free of charge – such as the offer to help with computers. This is rarely seen, even in the Christian community, yet most of us have some sort of skill that we could offer. If we all would be willing to set aside an hour or two per week to see to the needs of others (such as doing dishes for an elderly couple), we could literally change the world.

Challenge: Go to a condominium that houses senior citizens. Knock on doors and ask if they need anything that day. You will make friends, but more importantly, you may impact the lives of some who are drawing very close to the ends of their lives (thus the beginnings of their eternities). Your acts of kindness may be the catalyst in the lives of those who have been avoiding God.