I struggle with forgiveness. I especially have trouble forgiving repeat offenders, and there are a couple of people in my life who I feel have sinned against me more times than 7×70, even though I realize that Christ was being rhetorical.
How do I forgive someone? If I could just decide to forgive them, then I would, but I don’t know how! I try to remember that I’m no better than anyone else, that my sins are as grotesque as anyone else’s. I remind myself that when I sin, I do it willfully, because I know better, and that’s even worse than someone who is just floating along in life randomly stumbling and sinning. I remind myself that Christ died for the whole world, and I’m just one member of that population.
But then I think, “But so-and-so’s not even trying! Why do I have to forgive them? They’re not even sorry!”
Yesterday I read something that may indeed help me: “How can Joseph do this? How can he forgive his brothers? I think the answer lies in his mature and settled conviction that God has been sovereign in the events of his life, telling his brothers, ‘It was not you who sent me here, but God.’ ”
When the Bottom Drops Out by Robert Bugh, pg. 76
Then again on page 83: “Did you catch that? God is somehow using your suffering for His global purposes.”
I am hoping that this perspective will help me forgive more readily. Next time I feel at a loss to find forgiveness, I’m going to see if it works. I really think it will! I’m excited because this is something I have struggled with for a very long time. I see now that my lack of forgiveness is a lack of trust in God’s ultimate plan for my life. No more! I can see more clearly now.