Sanctuary

The purpose of this post is to collect ideas for making things special at home every evening. How do you make each day different? How do you make your home a sanctuary for your husband? I’ve thought of a couple of little things myself, but please add to the list if you can!

  1. Be dressed in a feminine manner when he walks through the door.
  2. Smell nice.
  3. Fix your hair.
  4. Make a menu for fun, highlighting the evening’s meal. (Jesse loves this!)
  5. Straighten the house.
  6. Make small changes to your home to keep things fresh, such as:
  7. Light a candle.
  8. Play soft music.
  9. Rearrange a couple of things to make the house look slightly different (and for some strange reason, this also adds to the perception of a clean house).

Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated!

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4 responses to “Sanctuary

  1. Good ideas. I have found that it also helps to have the children calm. It seems as though my husband overlooks a clean house if my children are loud and rowdy when he walks in.

    • Thanks for the advice, Kimberly! Do you have a routine that helps settle the children? Or do you just warn them when Daddy is on his way home? If you let them be rowdy and play hard for a little while beforehand, does that really help, or do you think it makes them harder to settle later? I’ve personally found that it helps to avoid sugary foods throughout the day (especially for breakfast). It also helps my little guy to focus on his schoolwork a little better.

  2. You are much more Betty Crocker than I will probably ever be. My life and Adam’s both seperate and combined(as we’re dating) seem to be filled with rotating chaos and points of strict order. We both have manageable messes, but neither of us expects the other to fix them. We also agree that we are both responsible for the health and joy in our relationship.

    I probably won’t take the same stance on femininity, womanly strength (which is what feminism originally celebrated), or the role of a woman and man in their marriage. But I respect that this is the path you have chosen for yourself and your family.

    Suggestions for making your home into a haven for your husband, seem somewhat odd to me, because your home should be a haven for all members of your family, including you and your son.

    I think that having a “daddy’s home-time to be calm” rule can actually divide your son and husband, over time. I’m not saying that a quieter evening shouldn’t be a goal, but eventually your child will twig onto the whole “we behave differently when daddy’s home”, which can lead to many childish misinterpretations – from “daddy’s no fun” all the way to the teenage angst of “my father doesn’t want me around”.

    I understand the wish to be the best at what you do and to make things somehow better, but do you really need to become super-wife? You already homeschool, do a thousand crafty things, maintain the household, plus cook and clean for your family. Does your husband seem unhappy or troubled by the state of home you’ve given him? If you’re making him and by extension your family happy, then I’m not sure why you’re making more things less simple. If you’ve got an extra hour a day to kill, arrange music or learn a new instrument with your son, take on learning biblical Greek or Latin.

    A house that is too perfect seems like no one actually lives or loves there. A sink of dishes is always second to a night of cuddling and a short-lived pile of books means that people in a home are thinking.

    If your place smells good and is clean and you’re dressed in a way that your husband likes, then I think you’re already doing quite a lot – considering you’re also a fulltime mom and parttime teacher.

    It’s okay to take a breath sometimes and just enjoy what you’ve accomplished with your husband.

  3. Corey, thanks for your input. I really love reading different perspectives about things. My own opinions are constantly changing as I grow and learn new things, and it never hurts to have our opinions challenged by others who have also really thought things through. Even when I disagree with another perspective, reading and thinking about one helps me figure out why I do things the way I do. That way, if I think something needs changing, I can take the advice and tweak my lifestyle a little.
    I guess I’m different than most people when it comes to having a clean home. I’ve heard your sentiments expressed many times: perfect homes don’t feel lived in. Personally though, when my surroundings are cluttered, I find that my mind is also cluttered. Seeing a dirty dish makes me want to do the dishes, etc. I’m actually the most relaxed when we stay in a hotel, and there are very few things around to clutter up my space. I also relax in knowing that I won’t have a mess to clean later 🙂 I would love to declutter my home to the point of feeling as though I lived in a hotel! Isn’t that bizarre? I know I’m weird 🙂
    As far as my husband goes, he is completely satisfied, as far as I can tell. I just take great pleasure in seeing his face light up when he comes home to a lovely wife, a lovely dinner, and a lovely home. I’m not trying to de-simplify my life; I’m just trying to have fun doing the extras. God knows I have enough time to have fun and be creative in the evenings before he comes home. I almost always sleep a couple of extra hours after my husband leaves for work, and then I get to sit around the house in the mornings, sip tea, write a blog post, read others, etc. All before Ian wakes up. I truly don’t feel overworked, especially since I’ve taught Ian to be pretty independent when it comes to his school work. I spend less than an hour a day on Jade’s school work; she’s only five.
    Having said all that, I’ll take some of your advice and try to remember that being a happy, fun-to-be-around wife and mother is more important than having a clean home on any day! And if I truly get overwhelmed, I’ll try to slim down my activities a little.

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