So I had an idea Sunday morning while my pastor was preaching. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but just in case you forgot: when I think back to a sermon I’ve heard, I don’t always remember what the preacher was saying. I pay attention, but then my mind takes me somewhere I need to go, and I only remember what I take away from the message. Anyway, his message was about intimacy with God. Not sure what he was saying at the exact moment that my idea crept up, but it was something along the lines of getting to know God more. It occurred to me that all my personal problems, you know, my fleshy parts that I wish would just dry up and fall off – like arrogance, unforgiveness, the things I struggle with most – all my personal problems would go away on their own if I could just develop an intimate relationship with God. These are things I try to fix on my own, reminding myself that no one is better in God’s sight, no matter how much one is “trying” or not trying. Everyone deserves forgiveness. God has forgiven me for all, so why do I have trouble extending the same grace to others? So I keep reminding myself of these things, pretty much on a daily (if not hourly) basis. I’m trying to “fix” myself. Then I thought, why don’t I just talk to God more? Talk to Him as I would my best friend? Because He is my best friend. The more I communicate with Him, the more I am honest with Him about everything, the more it seems I get back from Him. I begin to understand His nature a little more. His Word is revealed to me a little more. Eventually, I’m hoping that forgiveness and humility will just become clear to me, as God becomes clearer. There are so many things that “just make sense” when you surrender to God. I’m sure that if I looked more closely in the mirror that is God’s Word, I could see myself more clearly, and God would help me work out my problems.
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Humility. It takes a humble person just to admit that you are seeking enlightenment on becoming humbled. My God humbles me everyday when the path I set for my life is continually, yet gracefully rerouted by Him. The struggles in my life, when I look back on them, affect me when I forget to trust in Him and ask for the serenity to accept the things in my life that I cannot change. And trust me, I have dealt with life the wrongg way when I failed to lean on my higher power. Keep on writing! willjamm.wordpress.com